– Chapter 4 –
we were savages
obsessed with each other’s scent
you: all starfish and pollen,
an allergen ever causing me to swell.
you said i smelled gamey,
like goat w/ its pelt pulled away.
a trapper, i captured the essence
of kola nut in my hair.
like the crest of seas,
inhaling each loc,
Gideon tore the page from his spiral notebook—quietly, so as not to wake the woman gently snuffling under the sheets on his bed. It was bogus. They all were. He stared at the words for a while, just to make sure there was nothing there that he could salvage, then balled the paper up and let it fall to the floor beside his desk.
He hoped the woman—Naomi, maybe?—would sleep another hour, at least. He wanted to pray. Was it prayer, to sit alone silently monologuing toward God? Gideon rarely said anything aloud during his “prayers,” just willed his thoughts toward the general vicinity of the unseen. Whether the musings were heard was anyone’s guess, but he felt better for casting them toward a destination. When had clarity become so elusive?
He wrote that down: clarity has become elusive. No.
You’ve rendered clarity elusive. Yes? No.
clarity has become elusive. You’ve rendered clarity elusive.
Clarity, fickle consort, quit
He was sick of himself.